Muffsmasher ($MUFF)

Who is The Muffsmasher? Nobody knows where he came from. Some say the North Pole. Some say your dad's garage. All we know is that when the temperature drops, he rises. He’s a big, burly, beardy unit who smashes muffs (and bears) for a living. He doesn't hold. He smashes. He doesn't wait for the pump. He is the pump. $MUFF is his currency. The market’s frozen? He'll smash the ice. The bears are circling? He'll smash their faces.